NewsBiscuit

Olympic Champion Shot-Putter Geoff Pike is reported to be seriously depressed after coming to the conclusion that there is no practical use for his extra-ordinary shot-putting ability.

Pike became something of a British sporting hero after he won the Olympic Silver Medal in the shot-putt back at the 2004 Athens Olympics. However this week from his home in Cheadle he told reporters ‘What’s the point? If you are a champion runner at least you can always catch a bus. A weightlifter can carry loads of stuff from the car into his house. But when does anyone ever need to hurl a very heavy metal ball from under their chin to the near distance? Why did I have to be good at that? My whole life has been a complete waste of time.’

Motivational coaches were sent to Pike’s home with the hope that the British champion could be persuaded to have one last crack at the gold medal at the 2008 Olympics. But three hours later they came away concurring that throwing a shot putt was a bizarre and stupid thing to do. ‘We have to agree with Geoff that it is a cruel trick of nature to make him the second best in the whole world at something, when that talent has no discernable value or point.’

Pike is now reported to have taken up the piano, although he is apparently frustrated that unlike shot-putting, he seems to have no natural ability in this area whatsoever.

Posted: Jul 19th, 2006 by NewsBiscuit