Archaeologists have discovered evidence that the giant penis on the famous Iron Age chalk carving in Dorset was added by a pair of 12-year-old boys who subsequently found themselves in a lot of trouble.
For centuries historians have debated the significance of the ancient Cerne Abbas giant. Many believed that the enormous erect penis must symbolize a pagan fertility god, or perhaps an ancestral warrior or hero. But ancient runes, or primitive writings discovered near the site have finally revealed the truth – that the big erection was added by two Iron Age adolescent boys for a prank.
In fact, the original carving was of a much respected village elder and druids and warriors from miles around were summoned to see the dignified image. But on the morning of the festival, the village awoke to see that the venerated chief had had a great big erect penis added. The ancient runes end with an account of how the boys were chastised by their Iron Age elders: ‘You haven’t just let yourselves down,’ the head druid told them, ‘you’ve let your parents down, you’ve let me down and you’ve let this whole Iron Age community down.’