Predictions that robots and computers would rise up and enslave mankind have turned out to be completely wrong, admitted a veteran science fiction writer yesterday.
‘We were convinced that with all this technology and computers and everything, pretty soon humans would be like the slaves and computerized robots would be like the masters…’ said Lee Duxbury to his shame-faced audience at a sci-fi conference in Toronto.
‘My chilling cult novel Planet Silicon 2000 depicted a facist robot government publicly executing human freedom fighters for daring to challenge the android master-race. (Except Xena, the beautiful but conflicted half-human, half-robot who eventually joins forces with the rebels after falling in love with the hero Cal.) But let’s face it – none of it has come true. This weekend my Sat-Nav instructed me to take a left when I wanted to take a right, but it turned out I was wrong and the machine was correct. It was actually really helpful.’
Another speaker proposed a formal apology from the Association of Science fiction writers; ‘We said that the machines would rise up, that it would be the computers giving the orders to us. But the worst that has happened is that a little paperclip pops up on Microsoft Word to help you lay out your letter. How nightmarish and totalarian is that? We should be ashamed of ourselves.’
At this point the Sci-Fi conference was dramatically broken up after a delegate leapt to the stage and grabbed the keynote speaker, attempting to find some sort of metal casing at the back of his head in order to pull out all his wires. However he was embarassed to discover that he was just an ordinary person like everyone else.