NewsBiscuit

A Press Conference at the Herschel Space Observatory broke up in disarray this morning after claims by astronomers that Earth had experienced a near miss from a massive passing meteorite.

At first the assembled journalists were interested and alarmed. ‘If this meteorite had been a fraction closer it would have certainly destroyed Planet Earth’ explained Cosmologist Michael Pejic, ‘but it missed us by a whisker, and life on Earth continues.’

But on further questioning, the story seemed less dramatic than at first claimed and the sense of excitement fell away. Dr Pejic explained that the meteorite had come within two light years of Earth. ‘How far’s that in actual miles’ called out one Australian journalist. When Dr Pejic explained that this translated as just over eleven million million miles the atmosphere changed from alarm to derision. There were cries such as ‘That’s not close!’ ‘A mile and half – that would be close!’ and ‘What a waste of our fucking time.’

It then transpired that this so-called ‘near miss’ had happened twenty million years ago, i.e long before humans even existed and at this point, journalists began to throw scrunched-up press releases at the panel of astronomers shouting ‘Now that’s what I call a near miss, egg heads!’

Speaking afterwards one reporter commented. ‘I came along because I’m normally quite interested in astronomy. I’m Aries but my wife is a Leo. Anyway I thought a light year was a measurement of time?’

jof

Posted: Sep 23rd, 2006 by NewsBiscuit