NewsBiscuit

The government have announced the introduction of ‘Tooth Fairy loans’ for children losing milk teeth to replace the current system of free pound coins for all.

‘The days are over when all kids could expect a free hand-out from the Tooth Fairy irrespective of their parents’ income’ said Work and Pensions Minister John Hutton. ‘It is only fair that as these citizens grow up to become tax payers that the money is passed on to the government to fund initiatives for the next generation.’

From 2010, employees who received coins under their pillow at any point during their childhood will have to pay it back in instalments during their first five years as wage-earners. The original teeth cannot be returned for administrative reasons. From the beginning of the next financial year, children leaving their teeth under the pillow will be required to fill out IR/7/Q(b) before any money can be credited to their ISA. The application will be processed within six weeks.

‘This is a fair system because poorer children who didn’t get as much as a pound won’t have to pay back so much,’ explained the Minister. ‘If they only got fifty pence or God forbid, 10p, then the chances are those disadvantaged children will have grown into poor and unproductive adults. However no adult teeth will be accepted in lieu of their outstanding debts.’

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Posted: Oct 8th, 2006 by NewsBiscuit