NewsBiscuit

Channel 4 is under fire from politicians, parents’ groups and environmentalists for an experimental new reality TV show, in which highly-privileged public school boys are given the chance to spend a week experiencing what it would be like if they were North Atlantic cod.

The boys from Spencer House Boarding School in Hampshire have been learning about the challenges of being a severely depleted species of sea fish, while back in Hampshire the cameras followed a shoal of cod trying to adjust to life in a modern British boarding school; working in the language labs, performing in the school orchestra and playing rugby.

‘Both sides found it pretty tough to be honest’ said ‘Life Swap’ producer Charlie Pryor. ‘The boys struggled to swim underwater for any length of time, failed to find enough shrimps and amphipods to eat, complained about the cold and kept asking if they could get into the camera crews’ boat. I was disappointed they didn’t make more of a go of it to be honest.’

But the fish fared even worse. With no special treatment being allowed to the visiting fish, the cod struggled for oxygen throughout their first maths lesson, flapping around on the floor, causing a great deal of commotion and failing to complete the algebra worksheet. Only in school swimming gala did the cod show any enthusiasm, when they won the fifty metres freestyle, though they were later disqualified for failing to turn up to the medal ceremony. But by the end of their first day, the fish were all dead. ‘At least it saved me the job of permanently excluding them for consistently disruptive behaviour,’ said the school’s headmaster. ‘It proves what we have always said. We only take a certain type of boy at Spencer House. If other students are going to flap around on the floor, fuss about a lack of oxygen or whatever, then maybe they’d be better off somewhere else.’

For their part, the boys felt the experience had been a valuable one. ‘I’d never really thought about what it must be like to be a cod before,’ said Piers Johnson, 14. ‘It makes me realise how lucky I am to be me, to be at Spencer House School and not be a fish’ said Piers, from the hospital bed where he was still recovering from hypothermia.

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Posted: Jan 8th, 2007 by NewsBiscuit