British charities have come together this week to request that donors cease the popular practise of presenting them with cheques that are far larger than is practical for accounting and banking purposes.
The plea came in the run-up to Comic Relief when a whole wave of six foot by three foot cardboard cheques are expected to be presented in front of press and TV cameras. ‘These things are just a nightmare to pay in at the bank,’ explained Richard Curtis. ‘They don’t fit under the little window, you try bending them and that doesn’t work. Everyone behind you starts tutting so you end up carrying them sideways out of the bank again, hoping you might be able to post them. Then you queue for ages at the Post Office only to be told they are too big for the Royal Mail.’
In previous years bank tellers at the branch where Comic Relief hold their account have suffered repetitive strain injury from heaving the huge cheques onto their desk and trying to work their way through a pile as they added them all up. During Live Aid it is estimated that so much card was used in the production of extra large cheques, than an entire Amazonian valley was deforested to provide the materials. ‘Please, just a normal cheque is fine. Use Photoshop to make it look bigger later if you have to.’
Comic Relief have ruled that in future they will ask for the payer’s card number on the back of all cheques. If they cannot produce a massive bank card in proportion to the oversize cheques, that method of payment will not be accepted.