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Diana: Daily Mail admits ‘we did it’

Middle England was left reeling this morning after a shock admission that its favourite newspaper caused the demise of Diana, Princess of Wales, and then spent the following decade selling newspapers by stirring up speculation about the death.

The admission has come after a disgruntled employee threatened to post his video of events on YouTube, after he was refused an office chair that went up and down when you pulled the levers. The paper explains in today’s historic edition that Mail journalist Evan Hymes was attempting to drive his white Fiat Uno at speed and use his new camcorder at the same time. The footage shows the swerving Uno rapidly gaining ground on the Princess’s car, as the audio track picks up Mr Hymes saying ‘Where’s the zoom button?’ and ‘How do you swivel out the little screen?’ The tape ends with Mr Hymes clearly saying ‘Oooops!’

A senior member of the Daily Mail staff at the time of the crash admits it was a difficult day. ‘We had the day’s headline ready to go; ‘Di; what’s the tart up to this time?’ and suddenly we had to completely re-do the front page. We sensed that admitting responsibility at the time wouldn’t have made us very popular, so we’ve had to sit on this explosive exclusive for nearly ten years. But we strenously deny any allegations that we have sought to profit from the death of Diana, a point we repeat emphatically in today’s 16 page full colour souvenir pull-out special.’

The admission means that the inquiry into Diana’s death can be brought to a close with the conclusion that it was a tragic accident after all. Mohammed Al Fayed has called for Prince Philip to be jailed anyway.

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Posted: Mar 11th, 2007 by Team Biscuit

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