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Paperclip from Word quits Microsoft for Apple

Steve and Clippy get talking

The I.T. world was plunged into controversy last night after it emerged that the animated paperclip from Microsoft Word has been headhunted by Apple and has now ‘jumped ship’ to work for the company. Rivalry between the two corporations has increased of late with Apple launching a range of adverts lambasting PCs for being geeky and dull while Microsoft have attempted to win customers back with their new Vista operating system. This high profile betrayal by one of Microsoft’s most trusted lieutenants is seen as a major embarrassment for the company.

The controversy arose when the paperclip – known as ‘Clippy’ – was spotted in the Apple store in Seattle discussing the new MacBook Pro laptops with a store assistant and eventually purchasing one, together with a 4GB iPod Nano. He is then shown stroking the smooth metallic casing of the Powerbook on his way out of the store. When this footage was made public, Clippy announced that he was quitting his $19 million contract with Microsoft and would henceforth be Apple’s new mascot.

‘It’s a logical move for us to make’ stated Steve Jobs, Apple’s CEO. Clippy is a professional, and his knowledge of laying out letters and punctuation tips is second to none. You may think he’s just an annoying bit of office stationary, but don’t be fooled – this is one high-powered individual with a remarkable vision for business’

Clippy’s former colleagues, Rocky the dog, the bouncing red dot, and the small scientist character refused to comment on allegations that Clippy left after persistent workplace bullying. But Steve Ballmer, CEO for Microsoft, declared himself to be ‘shocked and saddened’ by the news. ‘Clippy’s move is a blow, but his standing with Microsoft was at a low point. He kept turning up to work late, he was often drunk, and he would slump in his chair during board meetings and make lewd comments to the receptionist. Plus he would set the alarm off every time he came through the metal detectors in the lobby. He was an irritating little bastard, to be honest.’

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2007 by Team Biscuit

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