Government plans to reform the beleaguered Home Office suffered an embarrassing set-back last night when the best part of the department was stolen from its Westminster location by opportunist thieves taking advantage of the chaotic current reorganisation.
The alarm was raised just after midnight when it became apparent that most of the new Ministry of Justice had simply ‘gone missing’, along with all parts of the old department that dealt with homeland security, policing, terrorism, immigration and prisons.
The Home Office had been left unattended while the government were announcing major reforms aimed at ending the string of embarrassing mishaps that had befallen its largest department. When the Home Secretary returned to his office after the press announcement, he found it had been pinched. CCTV cameras that might have given a clue to the thieves’ identities were attached to the building and so have been stolen as well.
John Reid said he would be back at his desk ‘the moment it was found’. He claimed that the government has a list of likely suspects ‘on the computer that used to be in the main office’ and appealed for the thieves to return the whole department immediately ‘to enable us to catch these criminals as soon as possible.’
Plans to split the department in two are now being revised. It’s thought the Home Office may end up being divided into many more parts, depending on how the thieves plan to offload their haul on eBay or at car boot sales. Rumours that a hoodie was overheard in a South London pub offering to sell a government department for ‘twenty quid’ were not confirmed.