It has emerged that Britain’s new motor racing hero Lewis Hamilton only failed to win last weekend’s race following an intervention from a police control car that pulled over the young black driver as he was speeding towards the winning post at 120 miles an hour.
Lewis Hamilton was leading the pack when he became aware of a flashing blue light behind him. Imagining there must have been some sort of accident or fire, he pulled into the pits, where he saw two police officers slowly emerge from their panda car and put on their caps as the other cars sped past.
The British police officers apparently greeted the Formula One star by saying ‘This is a bit of a flash car isn’t it, Sonny?’ adding ‘How do you afford this then? Selling a bit of ganja on the side are we?’
When Hamilton admitted that the car was not his own but belonged to the McLaren Formula One team, the police demanded his insurance details and driving license which Hamilton was forced to admit he did not have on him at the time. He was then forced to wait several minutes while the police radio-ed back to check that no McLaren Mercedes V8 Formula One cars had been stolen in the area, after which they grudgingly let him go on his way. Although he still managed to finish as runner-up, this is the third time that Hamilton has experienced hassle from the police patrol cars, including one occasion when they suggested that he wouldn’t get much work as a mini-cab driver in a one-seater car.
Now Team McLaren have announced that for the next British Grand Prix in July, Britain’s first black Formula One hopeful will drive a 1992 Nissan Sunny with a bent coat hanger for a radio aerial and a sticker in the back saying ‘Radio Jackie’. ‘The alternative is to build a much bigger car and put a rich-looking businessman in the back. That way the police will just presume he must be some sort of chauffer.’
The policeman concerned were not available for comment, as they were pre-occupied with an intruder they had apprehended at Wentworth Golf club. Apparently he claimed to call himself ‘Tiger.’