Blair announces ‘Government to re-locate to Aberystwyth’

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Tony Blair’s final act as Prime Minister was billed as a huge boost for the regions today, when he announced that the government of the United Kingdom, would henceforth be re-located in the Welsh coastal town of Aberystwyth.

For some time it has been known that the PM was keen to leave a tangible legacy, and now his place in posterity is guaranteed as the man who moved the capital of Great Britain to a small university town on the Welsh coast. As well as moving both Houses of Parliament to a new site by the Irish Sea, the move will require new premises for dozens of government departments, thousands of civil servants, plus the attendant lobbyists and the news media. Foreign diplomats will also need a new home and a two-up, two-down terraced house in Station Road looks set to be the home of the new American Embassy. ‘We’re delighted with the news’ said the President of Aberystwyth Chamber of Commerce. ‘It’ll be a real boost for the town.’

But the surprise move was said to have angered many members of Tony Blair’s cabinet and MPs who have no wish to uproot their families and office staff to a remote Welsh coastal town. ‘How long does it take to drive to bloody Aberystwyth’ complained John Reid. ‘He’d doing this just to get back at us all.’ Gordon Brown was said to be privately fuming that his imminent Premiership would not be enjoyed in the UK’s historical political and cultural centre but in a market town in Dyfed with a population of only 12,000.

The royal family will of course also have to be relocated to the region, which is critically short of Royal Palaces. Her Majesty is expected to be accommodated in the Community Centre for the time being, with Charles and Camilla getting a room in Bay View Bed and Breakfast.

Tony Blair refused to take questions after making the announcement, but is said to be greatly looking forward to his approaching retirement in London.

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Posted: May 2nd, 2007 by

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