A Shropshire farmer has revealed that nearly all the journeys he makes in his tractor serve no other purpose than annoying other road users.
Jack Cullen, a fourth generation farmer in his fifties, said ‘People might think it pointless and vengeful, but holding up traffic is the only thing I use the tractor for these days. It’s the one bit of the job I really enjoy. I could get the subsidies sent straight to the bank but I like to go in person with the cheque, so I can complain about their charges. I do have a normal car, but why should I waste good subsidized diesel in that, for the leisurely 5-mile drive to town?’
Farmer Cullen admits that most tractors on British roads are actually ‘just driving around for a laugh’ and that routes are coordinated in advance to combine heavy holiday traffic with single lane carriageways where there’s no overtaking. ‘There’s no better feeling than flying through the countryside at five or sometimes six miles per hour with a few hundred cars backed-up behind me, then I indicate right at least two miles before my turn off,’ laughed Jack; ‘the ironic thing is that I do it on bank holidays too, the bank isn’t even open then.’
A spokesman for the National Union of Farmers confirmed that boredom and loneliness is a real problem for their members and when this is combined with a hatred and contempt for the general public it can be ‘a bit of an issue.’ However they were keen to point out that there is far more to farming than just driving tractors very slowly on busy highways. On tiny single track roads far longer delays can be achieved by pointlessly walking cows up and down the lane; ‘I always give the motorist a friendly wave as the last cow finally goes through the gate’ said Farmer Cullen, ‘but I’m only smiling ‘cos their expensive car is now covered in cowshit.’