Formula 1 Supremo Bernie Ecclestone has admitted that the champagne that racing drivers spray around after a victory is nothing more than cheap Spanish cava in expensive-looking bottles.
Ecclestone finally came clean after angry champagne producers had condemned the tradition of spraying quality booze over fellow competitors and members of the press. ‘It can take many years to produce vintage champagne’, said Dominique Perignon; ‘it should be handled with respect, not sprayed around like a Hambro Super Soaker.’
Ecclestone said he wholeheartedly agreed with the oenologist; ‘no-one got rich wasting vintage champagne on a bunch of bimbos and garage mechanics. We did try experimenting with even cheaper fizzy drinks like Lilt and Tango, but people got suspicious. So we got some Spanish Cava from Lidl and stuck ‘Moet & Chandon’ labels on the bottles,’ he said, ‘just to annoy the French.’
The Press Association added they would prefer an outright ban on all forms of podium spraying and were fed up of getting their suits dry cleaned and having their cameras ruined.
Multi-millionaire Bernie Ecclestone denied he was being penny pinching but then refused to answer questions about the new Pay and Display Machines in the pit stops.