Cherie blockades Number 10 – demands ‘squatters rights’

There was a tense stand off in Westminster today after Cherie Blair blockaded the doors and windows of 10 Downing Street with corrugated iron and claimed ‘squatters rights’ on the house where she has lived rent-free for the past decade.

The mother of four has occupied the ramshackle state-owned property since May 1997, originally moving in the hope of setting up some sort of left-wing commune. However disagreements with her long-term partner ‘Tone’ have led to him moving out and so the police took steps to repossess the property.

Loud rock music blared out from speakers propped in the upstairs window, as the last squatter defiantly asserting her alternative way of life. Bags of flour and pepper were thrown down at the police, as Cherie Blair shouted ‘Get the fuzz out of here. I ain’t moving.’ Officers in riot gear armed with jemmies and dogs were set to enter the building after a special sitting of a magistrate’s court had ruled the occupation illegal, granting a warrant under statute 15 of the Limitation Act 1980.

However they were stopped in their tracks when a dungaree clad Mrs Blair appeared in the street shouting ‘I know my rights.’ Police initially laughed, but she continued; ‘Part 9 of the Land Registration Act 2002 saw adverse possession rights reduced from twelve years to ten.’ and when legal checks were carried out, it proved the squatter was absolutely right and could not legally be moved. The law was recently changed following a case brought by a highly respected barrister known as Mrs Cherie Booth QC.

Meanwhile the man who had been planning to move in today was seeking alternative ways of gaining vacant possesion. He was hoping to gain access by knocking a hole through the wall from Number 11. His representative explained; ‘He is not going to use any force or violence. He is just going talk to her at length about the complex and interlocking difficulties that modern high-technology economies face in an ever more open marketplace. She’ll be out by the weekend.’

Team Biscuit

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