NewsBiscuit

Tony Blair was found face down in a pool of sick last night after going out to celebrate what he had jokingly referred to as ‘his end of term piss up.’ With a couple of his children having just finished their exams the outgoing Prime Minister was inspired to follow the youngsters’ example and get off his head on a mixture of Diamond Lite, Bacardi Breezers and Smirnoff Ice to celebrate his own release from an extended period of hard work and responsibility.

Tony Blair first became leader of the Labour Party thirteen years ago, and has been Prime Minister for over a decade. He was reported to have become increasingly fed up with the constant burden of and duty expectations of total responsibility.

The semi-conscious ex-Premier was found where he had been left by an equally drunk John Prescott, who had apparently ‘scarpered when he saw the rozzers coming.’ Earlier in the evening, the Ex-Prime Minister had been spotted with a traffic cone on his head trying to get into ‘Bumpers’ nite club, and then urinating into the fountain in Trafalgar Square.

Mr Blair was later picked up from a Central London police station by his son Euan who asked that the family be allowed a degree of privacy. ‘Dad’s a good chap really. You know, he’s just an ordinary Prime Minister finishing his third term and it’s what they do.’

In contrast Gordon Brown’s party to celebrate the end of his long wait to become Prime Minister finished at a quarter to nine. Guests had all eaten their half-sausage on a stick and downed their glass of mineral water, and so Downing Street staff began collecting the empties.

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Posted: Jun 29th, 2007 by NewsBiscuit