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Gordon Brown ‘wants to be Middle-East Envoy’

A Downing Street insider has claimed that Gordon Brown is furious that Tony Blair got the Middle East envoy job, as the two had ‘a long-standing agreement that the job would be Gordon’s’.

‘The Prime Minister job was only a staging post,’ explained the anonymous Downing Street source. ‘The two had always agreed that Gordon would use his brief time at Number 10 to go on try and solve the complex problems of Arab-Israeli relations.’

The claim comes amid rumours that the newly-installed Prime Minister has been distinctly under-whelmed by his new position. A long term friend of the new Prime Minister has revealed, ‘yeah, he’s mailed me a few times, a couple of texts too. I think he’s bored out of his mind to tell you the truth. I suppose that once you’ve met the Queen, checked out the nuclear attack button and had a swivel on the big chair, it’s a bit of a let down after that.’

It had been expected that the excitement and magnitude of such a huge job would have the former Chancellor’s adrenaline pumping, however the anonymous source added, ‘after the first couple of days excitement and ceremony it’s all kind of fizzled out. Perhaps it was jealousy; maybe didn’t want to be in the job as much as he wanted Tony out of it.’

Downing Street staff have attempted to keep their new boss feeling excited about work by buying him a novelty basketball litter bin and a big book of Sudoku puzzles. But his last working day involved him simply writing ‘List Of Things To Do’ and then struggling to put anything down on the pad apart from ‘Write List’.

Tony Blair is now coming under increasing pressure to name the day when he will step down as ‘Middle East Envoy’ and let his old rival take his place. One suggestion was to send both of them to the Middle East. ‘That should put the rest of the fighting there into perspective.’

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Posted: Jul 3rd, 2007 by Team Biscuit

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