Government to introduce GCSE in texting


In a bold move to re-engage teenagers with their education and raise the rate of GCSE passes, the Department of Education are introducing a GCSE course in ‘Texting’ from next September.

Formally known as ‘Proficiency in Construction and Interpretation of Short Message Service Prose and Grammar’, the course will include a practical exam in which will count towards 50% of the final mark; ‘Kids are already taking their mobiles into their GCSE’s and texting each other all the answers,’ said a spokesman for the Department of Education, ‘This is just heading into the problem.’

The department claimed that this innovation represented a genuine attempt to engage with modern trends in youth culture and was not just an easy way to achieve Government education targets. ‘We’ve had a think-tank looking at this for a while now, it’s time that we introduced a formal qualification in this area before the current standard of texting and text-speak degenerates.’ Although the pass rate is expected to be high, students who fail the course will be notified by text message; U hv fld ur GCSE – soz :-(

If the GCSE Texting is a success, then further new exams will be rolled out in 2009. These include ‘Proficiency in Internet Based Social Interaction’ or ‘Bebo-ing’, and ‘Urban Interaction in the Community’ which is basically ‘Mucking About in Shopping Centres and Calling Any Adult Who Tells You off a Paedo,’

The move has seen some heavy criticism from traditionalists such as University Professor John Sixsmith; ‘Soon we will see thousands of young people with meaningless qualifications that are easy to achieve and have no credibility with employers or academics alike’ said the Head of Media Studies at the University of Bracknell.

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Posted: Jul 13th, 2007 by

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