NewsBiscuit

Gordon Brown has announced his intention to outsource elections to the Far East this week as a cheaper and more practical way to elect Westminster MPs.

‘In the new global market place, many of the administrative and bureaucratic burdens of our economy can now be outsourced to the emerging service sectors in Asia,’ explained the new Prime Minister. With increasing voter disenchantment, falling turnout and increasing administrative costs, it was becoming harder to justify the disruption and expense of holding British general elections in Britain.

‘The public have had enough of having their evenings’ viewing disrupted by Party Political Broadcasts, and canvassers knocking on the door or stuffing election leaflets through their letter boxes,’ said the PM. ‘We believe they are now ready to delegate these sorts of decisions to people who have time to study the issues and make a considered judgement on their behalf.’

In a pilot scheme in Berkshire, the Royal Borough of Windsor and Maidenhead recently had their entire council elected by Indonesian voters. The pilot was deemed a complete success with reduced costs, turnout up to 97% and the Royal Borough’s Liberal Democratic council replaced by alliance of the predominantly Islamic Partai Kebangkitan Bangsa, in coalition with the South Mollucan Independence Front.

‘This plan will relieve British voters of the whole tiresome business of taking part in the democratic process…’ added the Minister for Constitutional Affairs, ‘leaving them free to get on with more important matters, like voting in X Factor, Big Brother and Britain’s Got Talent.’

Posted: Jul 19th, 2007 by Team Biscuit