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Money buys man immense happiness

Fred Black, a middle aged father of three,from Hampshire, has spoken openly about his absolute delight in winning over nine million Euro on the Euro-Millions lottery last year.

Speaking from his yacht in the French Riviera, a tanned and relaxed Mr Black said, ‘All this talk about money bringing its own worries is all a lot of bollocks. I wake up each morning with tears in my eye. Yes, tears of laughter. The kids have all got great schools to go to, we have lovely homes, I looked after my parents and brother; Dad got that new hip he’d had his eye on, Jack got a 3-bed semi and a Mondeo. The wife can spend as much time chatting with her new friends and going to the beauty salon as she likes, to be honest she’s a different person, our sex life is fantastic, probably as good as when we first got married. Life couldn’t really get any better.’

Although the newly rich are often portrayed as deeply unhappy and find it hard to maintain friendships Fred was not looking backwards, ‘Of course I’ve new friends now, I don’t want to be hanging about in a grotty little workingman’s club playing dominos and eating scampi fries, do I? Who wants to listen to a bunch of losers getting excited about a week in the Costa del sol, besides the sat-nav on my Ferrari doesn’t allow me to drive into areas with a high concentration of chip shops.’

Fred, who left his job as a foreman at a window manufacturing company, revealed that he had no difficulty saying goodbye to his workmates either. ‘Most of them hated me anyway, ‘Fat Freddie Foreskin’ they used to call me, worse behind my back. Stay in touch? With those idiots? Yeah, that’ll be right.’

When asked about the claims of former workmates that the winning ticket was part of a syndicate that Fred organised for a dozen of his colleagues he was defiant. ‘It’s simply not true, the winning ticket wasn’t part of the syndicate, how could it be? I’d been pocketing that money for years. No, it was my own ticket. More caviar?’

Redland Wolf

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Posted: Aug 6th, 2007 by Team Biscuit

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