Police hail ‘Operation Pete Doherty’ as huge blow to drugs trade
The Metropolitan Police today revealed that they are now winning the war on drugs with the help of Pete Doherty. After several arrests for drug possession, DI Dave Turner had the idea of using the Babyshambles front man to clean up the streets.
In future when Doherty is arrested, he will be stripped of his illegal substances, cautioned and released. ‘It just seemed to make sense’ said DI Turner, ‘none of us knew how he was getting the drugs, but he’s like a human drugs magnet, so we just let him out, like a fishing lure then reel him in two hours later.’ By repeating the process it is estimated that it will take about two months to exhaust the capital’s supply of drugs.
The scheme started this week on the steps of the West London magistrate’s court, when police pulled Doherty aside from the scrum of reporters and emptied his pockets. He was found to have 2kg of crack cocaine and a large quantity of LSD.
He was then stopped an hour later entering the office of his record company. His car boot was found to hold 20,000 ecstasy tablets, three large cannabis plants and one Kate Moss with a street value of GBP17m.
The police are so impressed with this approach they will soon be using it again in an attempt to curtail other dubious behaviour in the capital. DI Turner was unable to elaborate on which activities would be targeted for fear of ‘tipping off’ those involved or of blowing the cover of their undercover man, but was able to confirm that it would go under the name of ‘Operation Mark Oaten’.
the Hit Squad
Posted: Aug 12th, 2007 by robd
