Enthusiasts finally admit ‘Vintage cars not as good’

Classic car enthusiasts have finally acknowledged that old cars are not as good as new ones. The frank admission came in an editorial in Vintage Car magazine following a rash of letters complaining about the unreliability and poor design of old motor cars in comparison to modern vehicles.

‘There is a good reason that you don’t see that many old cars on the road these days,’ declared editor in chief Charlie Dawson. ‘They are rubbish. They are slow, they rattle and judder, the wind comes in the gaps in the roof and they keep breaking down. Why would anyone want a car like that?’ he told his readers in the last edition of the magazine before it closes.

Like many vintage car enthusiasts Mr Dawson had driven around for years in pre-war classics such as the Austin 7, the 1914 Studebaker Roadster and Alvis Speed 25. ‘People used to give me cheery waves as they drove past me on the lay-by. But I can tell you there is nothing quaint or charming about missing your plane because the radiator on your Singer has exploded and the replacement has to be specially hand made at a workshop in Daventry.’

Mr Dawson’s children did achieve a certain level of kudos at their primary school when their father drove them to school in an open top 1931 Ford Model A. But this faded when they were given detentions for repeatedly arriving late with such excuses as ‘it was too cold for the hand crank’ or ‘there was moisture on the rotor arm’.

Other readers of the magazine have recently come to the same conclusion. ‘I just bought myself a Daewoo Matiz. It’s incredible, you just turn the key and it starts every time,’ wrote one correspondent. ‘You turn on the heating and the inside of the car becomes warm. And I don’t have to spend every weekend underneath it trying to work out why black smoke is pouring out of the exhaust. It certainly beats having to explain to the RAC that my broken down vehicle is a Messerschmitt and no, I am not a Nazi pilot.’

Mr Dawson is now organizing the first ever London to Brighton modern car rally. ‘The vintage car event used to take up the whole weekend. We expect to do it in an hour and a half.’

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