NewsBiscuit

English and French secondary schools are teaming up to launch the first ever official twinning to focus purely on stealing worthless souvenirs from local gift shops.

The pioneering cultural exchange is being organized by teachers and civic leaders from Folkstone and Boulogne based on their experience of years of cross-channel school trips. ‘We have tried having sports exchanges and joint drama productions but the students could never wait to get away to go shoplifting,’ said the organizer, PE teacher David Evans. ‘Last year local tourist boutiques had to order thousands of extra Beatles key-rings to cope with demand. And there wasn’t a mobile phone charm left in the town.’

The pupils will be kept busy with worksheets detailing what they have to steal and from which shops, while vocab booklets will provide useful phrases such as ‘It fell in my pocket’, ‘I was going to look at it in the daylight’ and ‘Can I phone my father to arrange bail.’

‘It won’t all be petty crime of course’ explained Mr Evans, ‘we will be allowing the students some free time for other activities such as giving each other love-bites and choking on strong French cigarettes.’

But if successful the project could generate thousands of pounds in fines at the local Magistrates Court.

Even disposal of the stolen goods has been carefully planned. ‘The students will show the stuff off to their mates, lose their bottle about taking it through customs and then chuck it over the side off the ferry in the middle of the Channel. They’re all really looking forward to it.’

NewsBiscuit

Posted: Sep 7th, 2007 by NewsBiscuit