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Gun fanatic and loner accepts dismissal with good grace

An American Postal worker has left the sorting office where he worked for ten years after agreeing with management that his future lay elsewhere. Forty three year old gun enthusiast and Gulf War veteran Glen Johnson was pragmatic about the move, claiming that he understood why managers in the Montana office took the decision to let him go.

The army surplus-wearing loner said, ‘In all fairness, I’d been acting kinda kooky recently. I’ve been suffering from some sort of schizophrenia for a while and Momma’s passing led to some aggressive behaviour towards colleagues. I wish the staff and management all the best in the future, they’re all wonderful people.’

The local sheriff revealed that Glenn was generally considered a nice enough guy, ‘Old Glenn’s all right, he gets drunk now and again smashes up a bar or two, the odd minor arson attack; nothing too serious. We’re fairly busy trying to catch a mystery serial killer who’s targeting successful career women to worry about him. He’ll have a few drinks to soften the blow; then get over it.’

Described by fellow gun club members as ‘very much a quiet man who kept himself to himself’, Johnson was looking at the news as a positive move in his life. He has already secured a job as a janitor in a local school, the job starts in three months and Glenn is unconcerned that the children will make fun of his slight hunch and lisp. ‘It’s a great move for me, I love being around children, sometimes I just sit in the park for hours and watch them, I take the odd photograph, it’s another hobby of mine. In the meantime I’m also going to start that book I’ve always talked about. I’m basing it on a character that hides in the woods and shoots campers dead before hiding the bodies in a freezer at his remote farmhouse; I’ve never had much of an imagination.’

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Posted: Sep 8th, 2007 by NewsBiscuit

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