Bush’s thoughts no longer with dead soldiers’ families


Following the death of another three American soldiers in Northern Iraq, President Bush has admitted that his thoughts were not with the families of those who were killed.

‘When the first few soldiers died back at the beginning, I did genuinely think about it for a bit,’ the President confessed. ‘I thought Jeez, these guys would never have died if I had never invaded. But like everything else you kinda get used to it.’

In fact immediately after hearing the news of the bomb that blew up the Marines’ Personnel Carrier, the President was thinking that he was actually quite hungry. ‘I hadn’t had a lot to eat that day what with one thing and another,’ he told Washington journalist Carl Keston. ‘So I was actually wondering what the White House cook would be knocking up for my dinner.’

The President learnt of the latest Gulf deaths during a briefing from his Secretary of State, but his stomach rumbled noisily several times during the meeting, and he is reported to have shifted uncomfortably in his chair while trying to appear to be concentrating on what was being said. ‘I was also thinking that Condi has a really tiny nose, and that ‘Dog’ backwards is ‘God’.’

The latest deaths featured extensively on American News Broadcasts that evening, but the Bush household has apparently become bored by the endless bad news coming from the Gulf and tends to switch channels when the coverage of Iraq comes on the television.

The bereaved families of the latest servicemen to die in the Gulf were shocked and upset by the President’s candour. ‘At a time like these, knowing that the President was thinking about us would have been a great source of comfort. In The West Wing, President Bartlet takes the trouble to personally ring the widow of a U.S. soldier. When the phone rang last night we were hoping it might be the President, but it was just a recorded infotainment message offering a chance to win a new car.’

Ivor Baddiel

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Posted: Oct 3rd, 2007 by

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