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Unemployed man achieves perfect work-life balance by sitting at home doing nothing

Dave Nixon, a 44 year old unemployed man from Durham, has claimed today to be the first person in the country to achieve a perfect work-life balance by simply not working at all.

‘I haven’t had a job since 1988 and I’ve been living off benefits ever since. For a while I kept myself busy at home doing DIY and stuff but I gave that up because I didn’t want to get my work/leisure balance out of kilter.’

Dave now spends most of the day sitting on his sofa watching Sky Sports and daytime TV. ‘I tell you what though, those daytime TV programmes aren’t too bad. You see people decorating their houses, cooking lovely meals and freeing up cash from junk in their loft or garage. I’d love to do some of that, but I don’t want to overstretch myself at the moment.’

Amongst the DIY jobs that are now left in a partially completed state are plastering over some cable trunking for a double socket in the front bedroom, levelling patio slabs for a new shed and a small area of tiling in the shower cubicle. ‘I’m most proud of the tiling. That hasn’t moved on since I bought a pot of all-in-one adhesive and grout in 1996.”

Dave revealed that he did have plans to write his autobiography and run a series of de-motivational workshops around the country. However, this hadn’t happened yet as he ‘couldn’t be arsed’.

The Hit Squad

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Posted: Oct 7th, 2007 by NewsBiscuit

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