Britain officially ran out of un-famous people at 11.49pm last night, after the last remaining member of the public appeared in ITV3 reality TV show called ‘Celebrity Search UK’.
Producers of British reality TV shows such as Big Brother or X-Factor had long been warning about the diminishing number of un-famous people but the sudden stardom of Britain’s last member of the public had still occurred earlier than many sociologists had predicted.
‘Every year it has been getting more difficult to find people who haven’t been on other TV shows’ said Joe Tandy a runner for BBC2’s The Apprentice. ‘We have to turn people down all the time for having been on ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’, ‘Help! My Kids Are Fat’, ‘My Really Ugly Neighbours’ or ‘Homes That Smell’. All our cameramen are famous, the caterers, everyone – filming has to keep stopping while everyone gets everyone else’s autographs.’
Gregory Charles, a mathematician at Cambridge University believes what is called ‘total celebrity saturation’ will now spread across the rest of the globe; ‘If you include internet novelty acts and radio phone-ins, there are actually only eighty-three people left in all of Europe who haven’t had their fifteen minutes of fame. Even with just the daytime shows, they’ll have to start repeating people in less than three months’ he claimed.
Joe Tandy added; ‘The market is just too over saturated. X-Factor and Britain’s Got Talent can sweep through over 10,000 people in one series; it’s just too much to keep everyone in business.’ One hope was that illegal migrants arriving at the French channel ports could be used. But then the producer recognised most of them from the new ITV phone-vote reality asylum competition ‘Who wants to win British passport?’
However the BBC believe they have devised the next generation of talent shows with a radical new competition in which thousands of celebrities compete to win lifelong obscurity and anonymity. The winner gets their own series on BBC 4.