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‘Oh come on, we’ve all done it’ says ‘Chessboard’ killer

One of the world’s worst ever serial killers was convicted in Russia yesterday despite his claim that his prosecutors were making a big fuss about nothing.

Alexander Pichushkin admits to being a serial killer but expressed some exasperation at the media interest in his extended trial; ‘Oh for goodness sake! Who here can honestly say that they haven’t murdered five dozen people and designated a particular square of the chessboard to their victims. I mean honestly, let’s get some perspective.’

Pichushkin’s counsel quietly explained to him that in fact most people don’t often bludgeon old homeless people to death or drown them in the sewers, and then maintain a bizarre and macabre record of each murder on a chess board. ‘Really?’ said an astonished Alex. ‘You mean they don’t keep any sort of record, at all?’

Pichushkin later complained that he had found the whole trial experience ‘incredibly judgemental’. ‘The media have been focusing on just one aspect of my personality – that I like to kill people to mark off on my chessboard. I haven’t read a single item about my interest in macrame or my how punctual I was at work. But you kill sixty people and suddenly the media put this label on you.’

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Posted: Oct 30th, 2007 by NewsBiscuit

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