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Rosa Parks ‘was victim of superglue prank’

Civil rights leaders in America have admitted that Rosa Parks, the black woman who famously refused to vacate her seat on the bus for a white man, was not quite as much of a heroine as was previously thought. Montgomery County files, released yesterday after their classified status elapsed, have revealed that she was actually physically unable to get up having been super-glued to the chair.

Sgt. Bill Huckey of Montgomery County Police said ‘the record needs to be set straight. Us cops have been painted as the bad guys. When the bus driver told her to give up her seat she tried, but it was impossible.’ History shows that it took three policemen to physically remove Ms Parks from the bus, but Huckey claimed ‘we’d no way to dissolve the glue, it was brute force or nothing.’

The super glue had actually been placed on the seat by her mischievous nephews as a prank, who had no idea that the whole thing would precipitate a civil rights campaign, the mobilization of the National Guard and the end to legal segregation. Black Civil Rights leaders were quick to make her a heroine and a focus for the movement and she was happy to accept the fiction of her dignified protest if it stopped her nephews getting into trouble. However after a while some Civil Rights leaders, notably Martin Luther King Jnr, did accuse her of ‘milking it a bit’. ‘She didn’t even use the bus as a general rule’ said one, adding that Rosa was a bit of a ‘one-hit wonder’ and that ‘her later work lacked the same impact’.

The Rosa Parks revelation follows the debunking of a number of heroic myths as historical papers have become available. Gandhi’s salt march was because he was too mean to get the train to the seaside while Mother Theresa was actually making quite a profit charging for bed and breakfast. However the recent suggestion that Princess Diana may have actually been a rather dim Sloane Ranger who was desperate for media attention has been declared as one piece of revisionism too many.

Team Biscuit

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Posted: Nov 5th, 2007 by Team Biscuit

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