Forty six year old stockbroker Ian Housley’s fantasy of receiving fellatio from a random and highly attractive female stranger in the elevator at his work has today officially entered its sixteenth year of not happening.
‘I remember it vividly,’ recalls Housley of the day he first came up with the fantasy. ‘It was a warm day, not unlike this one. I think I’d been in meetings all day. I got into the elevator and there was no one else in it, so I just – well, I guess I just got to thinking.’
Housley has caught the same elevators on approximately eight thousand occasions over the ensuing years, with the fantasy gradually evolving over time. ‘Initially she just slammed me up against the elevator door and started blowing me,’ he said. ‘But over the years we’ve kind of started talking to each other a bit. For a while there she had a Wonder Woman outfit under her business skirt. Not sure what that was all about.’ Housley also added that the woman in question has at various times been an Asian girl, Natalie Portman, a Courier, and Penny from marketing.
Though the fantasy has never come into fruition, Housley believes there were times when he was close. ‘I was working late one Friday and this bunch of girls got in on the 12th floor. They were all young and they’d clearly been having some end of week drinks. I started giving one of them the eye, just to see where it would take me.’ Nothing came of this late night encounter, but Housley believes that his efforts did not go unnoticed. ‘I’m not sure if it was related, but after that night I noticed they had security guards manning the lifts for the next few months.’ he said.