Workers in an open-plan office in Reading have developed an intense loathing for a colleague whose screensaver slideshow advertises his perfect life with his beautiful wife and family.
‘He makes me want to puke!’ says co-worker Dave Newton. ‘He leaves his laptop open whenever he leaves his desk, and we all have to watch this string of family snapshots that’s designed to show bloody perfect Charlie’s life is. It’s like, ‘Look at me, I go skiing; here’s my daughter and her pony winning a gymkhana, look at us all laughing in a gondola in Venice. Why can’t he just have the Windows logo bounce around his screen or something like everyone else.’
Charles Brooke-Peters only recently set his screen saver to a slideshow of personal photos and thought it would be nice to be reminded of loved ones and family holidays during his longs hours in the office. He went through his personal photos and chose a selection of all his favourite moments – his son winning the rowing prize at his prep school, his wife opening champagne at Glyndebourne Opera festival last summer, his daughters in their straw boaters as they head off to school.’
‘This is a bloody DVD rental dispatch office – where does he get his money from, that’s what I’d like to know? It’s like he’s some sort of bloody aristocrat or something.’ However it may be that Charlie’s perfect home life won’t last forever. With the aid of Photoshop and some hardcore pornography websites, his workmates have now changed some of the images on Charles’s laptop. ‘Next time his wife sees the family photos, she may notice one or two pictures of him shagging Debbie from personnel. Oh and there’s a great one of him enjoying fellatio from a couple of the guys in the warehouse. And he’s wearing a bra. Let’s see how bloody perfect his home life is after that.’