An embarrassed Prime Minister admitted to the House of Commons yesterday that he had ‘mislaid’ the Deputy Leader of the Labour Party, but that every effort was being made to locate her.
‘All her details and personal effects seem to have gone missing…’ explained Gordon Brown ‘The headed paper at the Department, her name-plate on the door of the office of the Leader of the Commons; her red box, her official car, we can’t find any of them, let alone the Minister herself…’ confessed the PM to an astonished Westminster.
‘I’m right here! I haven’t gone anywhere!’ shouted Ms Harman seated right beside him, as the PM shook his head mournfully and explained that they had looked everywhere but she was just nowhere to be seen. ‘I’m still a Minister, I’m not going to be ‘disappeared’ as some sort of sacrificial lamb…’ shouted Harriet Harman, as her colleagues taped up home-made ‘Missing’ posters around the Houses of Parliament.
The embarrassing mislaying of the Leader of the House of Commons has left a vacancy at the top of the government at a time of deep crisis for the government. Apparently the Prime Minister is considering looking outside of Westminster to make sure the job is taken by someone with an impeccable reputation who is recognized as a safe pair of hands…
‘Stop! Stop!’ shouted his colleagues… ‘And spin the wheel of satire! Is it Sir Ian Blair? Is it Steve McClaren? President Musharraf?’ ‘No it is none of those…’ responded the bemused Prime Minister, ‘They are already tarnished with scandal or defeat and it would be incredibly foolish to appoint any of them.’