Jesus Christ, Son of God and long time Facebook user, has stopped accepting friend requests as ‘they’ve started getting a little strange’.
The influential philosopher and lay preacher started out with just a dozen or so friends, (though even then he had his doubts about one of them). ‘But the amount of people wanting to be my friend kept going up and up. I had loads and loads of people joining which was great at first. But now most of the people who want to be my friend seem, well, just not my sort of people to be honest.’
Jesus drew attention to the number of groups started about him, which he actually has nothing to do with. ‘There’s various ‘Friend’s of Jesus’ groups, but I’ve never heard from any of them before in my life. When you look at these people why would I want to be friends with them?
The Facebook user was concerned with people using his site to say what other people could and couldn’t do; some of these friends were proposing using violence in his name. ‘Why would I accept an invitation from this ‘George’ person in Washington to join an anti-Middle East group when I was born there, in case he’d forgotten. And don’t get me started on that lot from the Vatican, no one in my family has heard from them for ages.’
‘I’ve had about two requests a day from this one English guy. I don’t know why, but I just seem to attract nutters at the moment’ Jesus continued. ‘When will people like this ‘Tony’, who ever he is, get the message that we really have nothing in common?’
Jesus has resolved to try and break into a whole different crowd and is going to request that he be accepted as a friend of Mohammed. ‘I’m just putting his image up there now – hopefully things will quieten down after that…’