‘Puppies ARE just for Christmas’ insist market traders

Street traders are fighting back against a sustained campaign to dissuade the public from buying puppies and kittens as surprise Christmas presents.

How can these people say ‘A dog is for life’ said Brick Lane stall-holder Dave Alias. ‘It depends how long you want to keep it doesn’t it? Some people want to make a big impact with their kids on Christmas day, but are not very good at thinking through the long-term consequences of getting a Rottweiller pup when they live on the 14th floor of a council block in Catford. For these people a puppy is the ideal Christmas gift.’

Unlicensed puppy sales are now at an all time low and street traders are calling on the government to bail out the ailing mongrel puppy industry. ‘If they can subsidise teacher training or NHS budgets, why not unregulated puppy farms and market traders off-loading a load of unwanted pets?’

As part of their campaign the illegal dog traders are issuing car stickers that say ‘A dog is for life. Or until you get bored with it.’ ‘I’m fed up of these busy-bodies telling people what they can and cannot buy.’ said Mr Alias. ‘These days you can’t even stand on Petticoat Lane with a urine soaked cardboard box full of whining kittens with a sign saying ‘Must sell today or they’re going in the canal’ without people making some sort of moral judgement. It’s political correctness gone mad…’