Pope Benedict XVI has sent shockwaves throughout the Catholic Church by announcing his conversion to the faith of New Labour.
A Vatican spokesman announced ‘His holiness had been grappling with this for some time, and few will surprised by the announcement that he is ready to join a modern, electable Labour Party.’ During a private audience with the spiritual head of New Labour, the Pope joined Tony Blair for an in-depth discussion about the private and public sectors working together in a partnership for enterprise. The Pope was particularly attracted by Tony Blair’s assertion that they would be ‘Tough on sin, and tough on the causes of sin.’
Despite criticism that New Labour is a shady religious cult with a discredited and increasingly wealthy leader, the Pope was said to be convinced by the concept of the infallibility of Tony Blair. But others were more sceptical; ‘There are those who might think that the Pope’s childhood membership of the Hitler Youth would make him unacceptable to New Labour’, said Tony Benn, ‘But then everyone is more left wing when they are young.’