Female Soccer player can’t keep ‘living a big straight lie’


England International Centre-Forward, Yvonne Brown, has revealed on her private blog that she is straight. The news has shocked fans, teammates and the world’s media.

Twenty four year old Brown made the announcement to teammates during training ahead of the publication. ‘I’m sorry, but I just like men’ claimed the 35-capped player, ‘I can’t help the way I am and people will just have to get used to it.’

Teammate Helen Carter said that the dressing room had been mainly supportive of their colleague, ‘it wasn’t really a shock to be honest, we knew that even though she pretended to make filthy comments about Danni Minogue, her heart wasn’t really in it.’ Carter didn’t think that there would be a crack in the players’ spirit; ‘there have been a few jokey remarks from some and Bob our manager feels a bit uncomfortable in the dressing room now, aside from that it has been fine.’

Yvonne revealed that her family have been understanding of her plight. Yvonne’s mother Trudy claimed that she knew that her daughters relationship with local bricklayer Kevin Malcolm was ‘more than just friendship’ citing a ‘mother’s instinct’.

A small number of fans have threatened to boycott the next England home game in protest. Female rugby players have been
taunting their football-loving colleagues with such rhetoric as ‘we always said soccer was just a big heteros game anyway’. The Ladies tennis and golf tours both issued statements supporting Yvonne’s lifestyle choice but denied that any of their members were likely to follow suit any time soon.

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Posted: Dec 29th, 2007 by

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