New Apple logo heralds future of the internet


The computer giant Apple has changed its logo to reflect the fact that the primary purpose of its products is to access the exciting world of internet porn; or ‘iPorn’ as the company now call it.

In a move which analysts have called the ‘encapsulation of everything about living stylishly in the internet age’, the company is aiming to liberate the world wide web from its occasionally seedy image and make it’s customers feel cool and cutting edge for endlessly browsing through amateur pornography sites.

Steve Jobs unveiled the new logo at an adult industry trade fair in California and said, ‘Our iPod video player and iPhone are allowing unprecedented numbers of people to see all sorts of things that would have been banned only ten years ago. This is about freedom of expression and liberty; our products have made it possible to watch iPorn at home, at work, even while you’re bouncing around on a bus.’

In a move that has been welcomed by pornographers Apple is also launching a new adult entertainment store on the internet. Mr Jobs explained; ‘We believe we can finally bring pornography the respectability it deserves. We’ll be selling three-minute downloads of high class adult entertainment for a dollar a go to US customers, or two dollars in Europe as they’re so much further away.’

To compliment the site Apple has also produced a new computer which runs the ‘QuickyTime’ media player with enhanced fleshtone graphic capabilities and a sound card tuned perfectly to enhance the sound of human grunts and squeals.

The ‘oMac’, sold under the strapline ‘think dirty’, promises to ‘entertain you on your lap or on the desk’. Later in the year the ultra-thin ‘oMac Air’ will also become available, although only ‘under the counter’, and will come stylishly wrapped in its own brown paper bag.

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Posted: Feb 8th, 2008 by

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