Britney Spears to be adopted by African child


The family of Arthur Zimba, an 8-year old Malawi boy, have asked for privacy as they help his new adopted sister, Britney Spears, settle into her new life in their village, far away from the dangers of her LA lifestyle.

Arthur asked his parents if he could adopt the troubled superstar after her latest cry for help saw her admitted to a psychiatric hospital in California. ‘Some people watch the showbiz news and sigh ‘what can we do..?’ said Arthur, ‘But I believe if I, as a poor African child, can make a difference to just one celebrity’s life I have a moral duty to do something.’

For the Zimbas, taking the former child-star under the corrugated iron roof of their mud-hut home is the culmination of years spent watching news stories about suffering Hollywood celebrities, who often end up in trouble with the law for shoplifting or kerb-crawling, or addicted to drugs and prescription medication.

‘And the deprivation!’ remarked Arthur’s mother. ‘These Hollywood starlets clearly don’t even have the money to buy a pair of knickers. And they are so stick-like; they’re clearly being starved.’

Questions have been raised about how the Zimbas were able to rush through the Britney adoption and the fact that the judge on the case was subsequently offered her own chat-show and magazine deals. ‘I can see how that might look suspicious to you or me,” explained Arthur’s father Yohane, ‘But that’s just the way things are done over there.’

The future should be bright now for Britney, with a steady job in one of Malawi’s growing industries, which could even see her working for Disney once again. Only this time as a seamstress working on the latest line of Mickey Mouse Club merchandise.

(with thanks to GusMac67, MrSoft, Hennell and BehaveDave)

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Posted: Feb 10th, 2008 by

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