Dr Rowan Williams has failed to quell the row over his recent comments with the announcement that he has been fully accepted into the Muslim faith. He claims to see no inconsistency with his new religion and his continuing role as the leader of the Anglican faith.
‘Both religions are saying basically the same thing,’ said Rahman Muhammed bin Williams as he now wishes to be known, ‘and I hope to bring together two aspects of these two major world faiths. So we will still have the Church of England Christingle Jumble Sale, but instead of getting a jar of home made jam in the raffle, the winner gets to drive a car bomb into the American Embassy.’
Dr Williams has said that it is important for England’s established church to reflect the cultural and religious diversity within today’s Britain. This point was reiterated by the Rastafarian Bishop of Durham, who was later arrested when police became suspicious about the contents of his incense burner. This follows his controversial presentation of Sunday’s Songs of Praise with such classic hymns as ‘All things Bright and Beautiful’ and ‘I and I in a Babylon situation’
Dr Williams dismissed the latest controversy as he headed off to buy a glittery tissue box holder for the back of his car. ‘Let us not forget that as Archbishop of Canterbury I am not head of the Church of England. That priviledge remains with the Defender of the Faith, Her Majesty the Queen. Or Shariz –El- Izbeth as she now wishes to be known.’