Evacuation of Iraq delayed by small child starting drawing

Plans for British troops to pull out of war-torn Basra were seriously delayed by the daughter of a senior British advisor choosing to start doing a drawing of a cat, at the very moment that British forces were ready to cut and run, it has been revealed. Although Millie Johnson had been forewarned that her family would be evacuating the war zone at noon on 20 February, in the end the military operation had to be postponed because the five year old failed to put her shoes on despite having been asked six times. With the armoured car waiting outside the consulate, her brother chose instead to start building a Lego building of a big tower, which he could not be persuaded to abandon.

This is the third time that the timetable for the evacuation of the British sector of Iraq has had to be abandoned due to Millie and Jake not cooperating when it was time to leave. Previous delays have been caused due to a ‘lost Polly Pocket figure’ and the fact that Josh ‘had just reached Level 4 on Sonic.’ At one point the British forces did actually get out of the city with only minutes to go before the the RAF transport plane was due to fly. On this occasion however, they were forced to go back for ‘Millie’s rug’ and the moment was lost.

Only a small number of non-military personnel have their families with them in Iraq, but the MOD is now looking seriously at banning all children from areas under British occupation. The issue has caused controversy ever since the D-Day landings in June 1944 were repeatedly delayed because General Eisenhower ‘had to finish his story and give a proper hug’.

On this occasion, British servicemen’s lives have been put at risk because six year old Millie failed to focus on the immediate military objective, and chose to draw a cat. ‘The irony is that it wasn’t even a very good drawing of a cat’ said the commander of the British sector. ‘It was just a big smiley face with pointy ears and four stick legs. But by the time her parents had encouraged her to show it to everyone, the airport was under attack again.’