NewsBiscuit

Hillary Clinton has taken the drastic step of undergoing cosmetic surgery to change her race so she can better compete against Barack Obama, it was revealed today. The skin pigmentation treatment was carried out over the weekend in a last ditch attempt to get the former First Lady the extra votes she believes she needs to win the Democratic nomination.

The Clinton camp attempted to play down the drastic change in their embattled candidate’s racial appearance. ‘This election is about issues not the ethnicity or gender of the potential nominees’ said Hillary, adding ‘Yo, and ma homies is agreein’ wid me, ya dig? Um, and rice and peas and other black stuff…’

The so-called ‘reverse Michael Jackson’ is a controversial move at this late stage, but Clinton is hoping that it may tip the balance and secure her the nomination and then the Presidency. ‘We had hoped that Hillary being a woman might be enough to get her elected’ said an aide. ‘Then when Obama came and trumped her by going for the whole ‘black candidate’ angle we didn’t know what to do.’

Friends of Hillary Clinton are insisting that her transformation into an African-American is the conclusion to a long and carefully considered journey. ‘She always liked Motown. She loves jerk chicken. This is just the logical next step…’

However the New York senator seems to be struggling with certain aspects of African American culture as her attempts to rap her way through her last election rally seemed to demonstrate;
‘I is da democrat from NYC,
Me gonna win da next primary,
Dem boyz in da ghettoes all dig ma scene,
Though I do love a good Chateau Lafite with my nouvelle cusine… Damn!’

Many African Americans have expressed distaste at the latest development in the Democratic race, with some even saying that Hillary’s posturing is insulting, clichéd and vaguely racist. ‘Frankly Mrs Clinton would sound a lot less ridiculous and ill-informed about black stereotypes…’ said one, ‘if she stopped hinting that she has an enormous penis.’

Hennell (pic by Emporer Jones)

Posted: Feb 26th, 2008 by NewsBiscuit