Today’s food report shows coffee bringing a decreased risk of dementia throughout the day but a suspected stiffening of the arteries by lunchtime tomorrow.
An increased risk of heart attacks in the morning will improve throughout the day, with heart disease likely to lower throughout the week following the results of tannin and antioxidant levels from across the Atlantic.
Wine should protect against heart attacks but be wary of high levels of consumption in the South, spreading North during the night, bringing rising blood pressure and increased risk of strokes.
The outlook for oily fish and vegetables remain positive however tuna remains on alert due to high mercury content and cod should still be avoided unless essential due to continuing low stocks. Poor meat saturated fat levels earlier this week should see vegetarians suitably smug, this is likely to change next week when low vitamin b12 and iron quotients are linked to anaemia and Crohn’s disease.
Overall, the rest of the weekend is looking good for enjoying a handful of unsalted peanut and few organically brewed beers to calm all your worries about food.