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U.S. forgets to complete Presidential election

Shame-faced US government officials have admitted that the country has simply ‘forgotten’ to complete the 2008 Presidential elections. The realization came after a surprise phone call from a lonely Barack Obama alerted busy officials that nobody had thought to complete the sequence of primaries that was supposed to settle the issue of who would compete in the Presidential election that had once been scheduled for November.

‘It completely slipped our mind to be honest’ admitted the Speaker of the House of Representatives. ‘Most big states had carried out high profile primaries to select presidential candidates a while back. But nothing seems to have happened now for over a month and the simple truth is that most American have simply forgotten all about it and moved on to other matters.’

A couple of smaller states did attempt to hold primaries recently but nobody turned up to vote or campaign and it seemed that no one was bothered that the matter remained unresolved. A sample of U.S. voters was asked whether they still cared whether Clinton or Obama went on to win, but many struggled to remember which particular TV talent show the two contestants had appeared in. Others were convinced that the whole thing has been sorted ages ago and the winner had been Daniel Day Lewis for ‘There Will Be Blood’. ‘It was interesting at first, but I’ve forgotten how it ended to be honest’ said one voter. ‘Did we get a black or woman president? I’m sure I would have remembered that…’

There is no constitutional provision for the current situation and legislators are unclear as to what will happen next. One suggestion is that with no Democratic candidate selected, the presidential election will now have to be cancelled and George W Bush will serve another five year term by default.

But the original candidates themselves have vowed to plough on regardless. ‘All that has to happen for evil to triumph is that the good people do nothing’ declared Barack Obama, echoing the late Martin Luther King at an election rally in the Mid-West. Unfortunately no-one was there to see him, as they were all at home watching American Idol.

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Posted: Apr 11th, 2008 by ianslat

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