Working-Class demand new insults for homosexuals

A spokesman for a community group in Liverpool has claimed that working-class people are finding it increasingly hard to come up with new derogatory descriptions of gay men and colourful references to the act of male-male intercourse.

John Harries said, ‘Most references are based around upper-class lifestyles. “Shirt-lifter???” Who has tails on their shirts these days? Toffs, that’s who. “Uphill Gardener” is another one. I live on the sixth floor of a high-rise what need would I have for a gardener? ”Chocolate chimney sweep” suggests a large Victorian home with a traditional open fire, while “Navigator of the Windward Passage” implies a man with his own bloody yacht!’

The claims have met with some sympathy from the Campaign for Better English who feel that certain Political Correctness has eroded the Working Man’s range of amusing and creative insults. References to burglar are unwelcome as it offends many of the professionals in the Toxteth area and ferrets aren’t widely kept since the rise in popularity of Internet porn.

‘The right to feel more manly by belittling homosexuals is a centuries old practice that has been traced back to cave paintings in France,’ claims Mr Harries. ‘After a hard day hunting the men gathered round the campfire and mocked those that weren’t as successful in the day’s hunt by questioning their sexuality with puns about spears and their favourite bit on the mammoth. But what sort of working man is going to feel comfortable using phrases like ‘Friend of Dorothy’ or ‘Gentleman of the Back Door’?’

MP Clare Roberts also backed the campaign saying, ‘what’s happening to the world when a man can’t unwind after a long working week by having a few pints in the local and swapping names for gay men that are both funny and class appropriate? It’s about time a nationwide competition is launched to make all such allusions class-neutral; the same as they are for muff-divers and carpet-munchers.’

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Posted: Apr 13th, 2008 by

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