International Rescue, commonly known as Thunderbirds, has announced that they have been forced to limit their world-saving activities due to soaring fuel costs. ‘Given that rocket fuel and petrol prices are hitting $120 per barrel, we are having to limit rescue missions by only sending one Thunderbird craft at a time and using public transport for non-emergency missions,’ admitted Scott Tracy.
Thunderbirds have achieved worldwide fame by using their fleet of distinctive rockets, underwater or space craft to save the world, but have come under criticism recently for giving little consideration to their carbon footprint. ‘The fuel costs incurred by these vehicles is disastrous,’ said one Greenpeace spokesman. ‘They send Thunderbird 3 into space and Thunderbird 4 under the sea, while the Mole is doing all sorts of environmental damage digging through the sub-soil. And most of the time the so-called emergency could have been easily avoided with a little common sense.’
British Prime Minister Gordon Brown praised the work that International Rescue do around the world but insisted that the government could not come to the aid of one particular voluntary organisation. There are now plans to have an annual Thunderbirds Flag Day, along the lines of charity collections organised by the Lifeboats or the Guide Dogs for the Blind.
In the meantime, new fuel economy plans will see Lady Penelope downgraded from her chauffeur-driven pink limo to a Toyota Prius, while the team will see the launch of a new vehicle, ‘Thunderbird 11’, which is basically a bicycle with a basket on the front. ‘International Emergencies will now be met with a new cry’ conceded Scott Tracy. ‘Thunderbirds are stop!’