The decision of the Lord Chief Justice to abandon traditional judge’s wigs dating back 300 years is facing opposition from within the legal profession, it has been revealed. ‘First of all, we are very upset that the Lord Chief Justice told everyone it was a wig,’ said one judge. ‘If we felt self-conscious about losing our hair and chose to go into a profession in which wigs came with the job, we don’t necessarily want the boss letting everyone in on the trade secret!’
But many other lawyers are sad about the proposed break with the past and feel that the reforms are an opportunity to remember periods other than the 1700s, and so have taken to wearing headgear from other periods of England’s colourful history.
‘I sent a burglar to prison this morning wearing a horned Viking helmet’ said Judge Charles Farquahson ‘It felt really great, like I was Kirk Douglas or something. Yesterday, I presided over a complex fraud case with my hair spiked up and dyed red in the manner of the punk rock craze of the mid-1970s.’
Other judges have been appearing in court wearing Puritan hats from the late Tudor period or the cumbersome metal helmet complete with visor from a medieval suit of armour. At the Old Bailey yesterday, the courtroom all rose for the judge, only to see him enter wearing a New York Yankees baseball cap on the wrong way round.
However the Lord Chancellor has ruled against traditional horsehair wigs being replaced by the modern toupees associated with the likes of Terry Wogan or Paul Daniels. ‘No that’s getting too ridiculous’ he said ‘We don’t want the judges being laughed out of court.’