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‘Future cyborg Clinton’ warns voters they must still choose her

The Democrat presidential nomination contest was once again mired in controversy and confusion today as a battle scarred cyborg Hillary Clinton from the year 2039 apparently travelled back in time to warn voters and super delegates that a victory for Obama creates a hellish future ruled by meta-droids intent on enslaving humanity.

The cyborg Clinton, her left infra-red optical device growing weak, stressed that her past self’s rival was at no fault for the apocalyptic hell that awaits mankind, but that a string of events unravels all connected to Obama’s successful campaign to lead the party into the White House. ‘So you see you really must choose Hillary Clinton to be the Democratic nominee while there is still time…’ she urged, as a piece of what looked like baking foil came away from her arm. ‘I am… I mean… She is the best candidate – select Hillary or have your brains sucked out as food for the droids.’

The real present-day Mrs Clinton was not present for the visit of her future robo-clone, despite frantic attempts to locate the New York senator, but Bill Clinton nodded vigorously with every word the time-travelling bionic visitor said, occasionally winking at her and saying ‘Well said honey.’

The journey back through time and re-entry into the Earth’s current time-field had clearly taken its toll on the future cyborg as bits of metal began to fall off her, including a chunk of what looked remarkably the attachments from a Moulinex Food Mixer and a hub cap from a 2005 Chevrolet. ‘Must return to own time zone…’ she stammered as she rushed through a door behind the podium ‘Heed my warning…’

But Barrack Obama played down the significance of this surprise intervention from the future, while John McCain dismissed her dire warnings about the future. ‘What do I care, I’m already 72, I’ll be dead before the end of my first term anyway.’

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Posted: Jun 5th, 2008 by NewsBiscuit

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