Confirmation that the credit crunch is increasingly hitting traditional businesses was confirmed today as it was revealed that the tooth fairy has been refused any further loans by the bank due to ‘an unrealistic and ill-thought out business plan.’
The tooth fairy has been struggling to make a profit for many years running a business in which cash is exchanged for small rotting teeth. ‘It’s all I know’ said the distraught fairy. ‘Years ago, I would pay a sixpence for a child’s tooth. Now the price has gone through the roof and I am having to pay a pound or sometimes even two.’ But the fairy is finding that once she has collected the teeth, it is increasingly hard to sell them on to anyone.
In days gone by, the Tooth Fairy was thought to make little necklaces from all the children’s teeth, although these were rarely seen in the shops as most people found the idea rather creepy. But with around forty or fifty milk teeth per necklace the fairy would have to charge over fifty pounds per necklace just to break even, when a more appealing necklace can be bought in Accessorize for under a fiver.
‘We have kept extending her loans, but now enough is enough’ said her bank manager yesterday. ‘Handing out cash for blood soaked lumps of molar is no basis for a profitable business concern quite frankly. She will just have to find some other means of making a living.’
A female answering to the tooth fairy’s description was seen walking in the red light district of Streatham late last night.