With rumours rife that Gordon Brown may have been talking to unions in order to bolster support for his premiership, a new mood of militancy has become apparent among British workers. Dire economic outlooks and a move towards old-style union-backed policies have led many in the firing line to announce they’ll be making their discomfort clear to the government ‘in no uncertain terms’, although a fear of losing their jobs through their own actions means they will now only go on strike ‘the minute they get home’.
The highly vocal withdrawals of labour will last from around six o’clock in the evening with noisy protests taking place between workers and partners, grown up offspring and mates down the pub about their grievances ‘until this government realises they have to provide fair opportunities and conditions to the working man’ and will last at least until about seven or eight o’clock the following morning, at which point a period of reflection will be called for the working day ahead and ‘we’ll all grudgingly get in our cars and go off to our jobs in a show of solidarity.’
‘But make no mistake’ said trade union activist Mike Simkins, ‘if our demands aren’t met we will continue to withdraw our labour each evening the minute our arses hit the sofa and we get our hands on that remote control. And we’re prepared to dig in and suffer for the long haul watching Sky until the early hours if necessary, even if it is all repeats.’
However, in an attempt to ‘keep channels with the protesters open’ the government appears to be in conciliatory mood and is promising to relax duty on packety snacks and curries and giving tax relief on ‘hobby’ activities in the hope of buying some time to bring public opinion back on track.
But the protests are already running into difficulties. Other activists who, by their own admission, are among the most extreme of the protestors, have had to cancel several Revolutions planned for the coming weekend, following forecasts that there may be a touch of rain rolling in from the South West on Saturday, round about teatime.