Celebrity watchers have been excitedly opening their browsers this morning following the launch of the first in a series of search utilities from internet giant Google which are the first to show the lives of celebrities in real-time. ‘GoogleWinehouse’ will set the standard for many other niche celebrity exposés to follow and was chosen for the launch due to the exceptional levels of demand for information, news and gossip on the troubled star.
‘We just had so many searches for her that this seems like a logical progression for us,’ said Google UK chairman Dave Peterson, ‘All she has to do now is stick a GPS and a microphone in her beehive, do whatever she does, and collect a share of the advertising revenue without anyone having to actually go to her concerts or buy expensive magazines long after the event. Everyone’s happy!’
Ms Winehouse’s movements can be tracked around the clock and novel features provided by Google will also include ‘Mapping’, so viewers can see where she is at any point in time, ‘Wmail’, with details and eyewitness accounts of her latest communications with anyone around her, and ‘StreetView’, which will give highly detailed and comprehensive eye-level images which are then specially blurred and wobbled to provide the view from wherever Amy may be.
Google is expecting massive demand for the service, particularly during the hours of nine to five on weekdays with peaks around lunchtime and coffee breaks for the world’s ‘army’ of temporary workers, although admitted that this might coincide with times when the singer was actually asleep.
Hundreds of other high profile celebrities have already been lined up for later launches including Sting, although his launch may be put off as he often doesn’t move significantly for up to six hours or more, which might not bring in the money, and ‘GoogleChegwin’ looks set to be shelved completely after trials, as the celebrity concerned just kept looking up and waving at the satellite cameras, shouting ‘I’m still here, you know’.
But with public interest in her still riding high the next launch tomorrow will be ‘GoogleVorderman’, and if anyone wants to find out more about her departure from Countdown, you’ll be able to watch and listen in on her visit to friends at ‘The Larches, Beckinsale Street, Harrogate’ in the late afternoon before she moves on to Blakes Winebar in the centre of town for cocktails with Des O’Connor around nine-thirty.
Raccoon (with pic)